20 August 2010

what i know...

it is not my 40th birthday.
i have not been diagnosed with cancer.
yet i feel like i am going through some kind of life change,
some kind of mid-life thing that seems to be about 
value and purpose
the meaning of life
who am i?
all of that wrapped into one big experience.

you could call it an episode of depression
or awakening
but there are some things i do know.
i know that the only thing you can count on is change,
that you never know what tomorrow brings,
that the only way to live is to be aware
and alive
even if it hurts.

i know that i need to focus on me
i need to take better care of myself
i need to learn to say 'no' more

i know that how i deal with life,
is based purely on my attitude
and how i look at things.
that appreciating what i have is much harder
then being angry for what i don't.

i know that life is hard
i know that having MS is hard
i know that having a child with Anxiety is hard
i know that raising children is hard
i know that keeping a marriage healthy is hard
i know that following jesus is hard
but i also know 
that it is ALL worth it!

life is simply about relationship and experiences
and loving each other as much as we can
every day.

i don't know why i needed to write this
but i did.
life is hard
life is beautiful
and i truly love every minute of it.

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